Why #FreeBritney Is Both A Rally For Support & A Cry For Help

The B army has done so much, of note is an Asian man Kevin Wu behind Twitter account freebritneya, who did mention the sexist element to Britney's conservatorship in an interview. He has been organising protests, flooding social media, making videos, etc.

Then there's the originator of the hashtag, out gay man Jordan Miller of BreatheHeavy.com who has been campaigning for her to get off conservatorship since 2009. 

There's also huge female fan support as well, her fan base consist largely of females, correct me if I'm wrong. 

Photos from here

Then, there're some males who intentionally go against the boycott of her music in spite of most of B army cooperating. The rest make it known that her explicit wishes of booting her dad Jamie out of conservatorship needs to be done first and it's falling on deaf ears. 

When a release dropped at Urban Outfitters, they went for it. 

Welcome to survivorland!

There're no candy, no rainbows, no pink feathers, no pot of gold at the end of the American dream, no red shoes to click and whisk us immediately away to a fictional fairytale where we're all saved by others, we're supported by those closest to us, we all get community support, we all have people behind us. 

It is not pink, not flirty fun, there're no giggles, bubbles or champagne popping, it is seriously dangerous, our exposure to abusive men within the family drives us to the edge of a mental health crisis, where our lives dangle by a thread. 

What Is Victim Blaming From A Survivor's Mouth

Where female lives don't matter unless we're of some use, our wellbeings are beneath our career successes, our productivity makes us important but our occasional burn out is seen as a sign of our now forever inability to self govern, one slip and we're at risk of being thrown into the hell that robbing our autonomies is A-OK. 

For God sake, she can't even buy a cup of pumpkin spice latte without keeping a receipt, can't date who she wants without asking dad, can't vote, can't drive and can't do just about anything by herself without his scrutiny. 

At freaking 38. 

Our mental health isn't a consideration at all, we're just pressured to do more, achieved more, we're never good enough, even if you're a self made millionaire racehorse, as her dad puts it.

Why Abusers Always Depict People As Animals

Even if you starred in The All-New Mickey Mouse Club at 11 and began a highly successful career as a pop singer and performer with the release of the single "...Baby One More Time" in 1998.

You have been an illustrious professional for as long as everyone can remember, you were of use way before other kids were, you're still seen as not good enough, not doing enough, not important enough, we do not matter and that is crystal clear to us, too brutally clear is the problem actually. 

Helplessness can come from clarity as well, not just wilful ignorance, not that it matters. When shit hits the fan in our lives, people forget all this. 

Photo found here

Photo found here

Photo found here

Photo found here 

They only remember this. 

Photo found here

We're to stand alone, fight alone, tolerate being publicly celebrated with snazzy catty slogans like It's Britney, Bitch, Yas Queen if we're the fun kind of feminist but keep our inward handmaideness hidden, because "family values".

Only if we're acceptable women not yet jaded by life, not scorned suspicious hags broken down by a string of abusive men, not outspoken enough to be on possible personal vendettas, being quiet is suppose to buy us social protection, silence is also where abuse thrives and we die unnoticed. 

She is to tolerate being secretly seen as sub human behind closed doors by the same people who want to ride on the coattails of her hard earned merit to propel them to fame and fortune. 

Survivorland is a place where white feminism promotes capitalism above social justice, ends up harming white women at the end of the day. They call it choice, they make it choice feminism, that any failures to succeed is about making the wrong choices. 

Like every woman who fails is dumb as fuck, wayward as fuck and deserve to fail as fuck. 

How Britney's Dad Triangulated Her To Financially Abuse

Like as if she got to choose a dad that needs a restraining order, like as if she would ever make a choice like so. Or choose an ex who also has a restraining order, which her dad very competently (his self proclamation of competency, not my opinion) spent 300K on. 

Maybe he just paid off her ex secretly instead, if so then another man profited of his violence against her, no wonder men want to be violent, it's lucrative. 

It's true, abuse of females have always been able to yield dividends, our bodies are trafficked and prostituted, our minds are designated to do free intellectual labour for the wicked minded, our emotions are suppose to be secondary to every single male around. 

Like as if men can't be gold diggers as well. They only call female gold diggers. 

This is speculation on my end of course, I have no evidence other than 300K was indeed spent on a RO against Sam Lutfi, who is currently trying to ride on her fame again, proclaiming his innocence against Jamie, sandwiching Britney in the  middle as usual. Two men who won't hesitate to throw her under the bus, their cash cow is to be milked until she crashes into despair. 

Images found here

Why Choice Is The New Pretty Please

But white women slacktivists sees it as a betrayal of the feminist sisterhood themselves, they're complicit in their own demise by their own implicit bias when women of colour like me with expertise in trauma research tell them where their activism blind spots are, I'm the deviant female who refuses to comply.

TO THEM. 

Switching up an overlord for another overlord has never been a solution.

She jumped from Jamie to Sam, she just came right back to a false promise of protection, moving in a circle around men. 

Instead of seeing me as the observant insightful female with more skills, more education, more activist experience than them and can add more value to feminism than they can, white women rather ally with even sexist white men and it always bite them in the ass, the same circle as Britney. 

Of course being overly confident and mediocre isn't a male monopoly, loads of females are, feminism and feminist is often a shield to avoid self reflection, sometimes a superficial performative tag onto an existing female own business to attract a new audience, white supremacy proclaims to protect white women but is more concerned about control of them more than anything else. 

If only white women see it. 

But I'm the asshole they're always targeting, while they strategically ignore the serious women issues, run away when the hard conversations start, want to craft their feminism on uninformed personal opinions, rely on personal anecdotes to bypass their need for real education.

As I'm reading the books, attending the classes and doing the research, they just grandstand and virtue signal all day long, while the more insightful people realise having no barriers of entry isn't always a good thing. 

The standards are kept low, so there's no real leadership for females to rise above. 

The worst part is being abusive behind anonymous profiles, not holding themselves accountable while asking men to be accountable, the hypocrisy is real.

The desperate need to live an inauthentic fantasy online where they can imagine their heroism is real, where feminism is used as a shield and weapon as they hide between public facing feminists like me is both terribly heartbreaking and incredibly cowardly. 

I have openly said that way too many think having the same experiences as a survivor results in automatic empathy as well as solidarity to highlight a common issue. If I had a coin each time someone idealised the situation survivors as well as survivor advocates or survivor researchers are under, I would be as rich as Britney. 

As systematic oppression goes, all facets face unjust penalisation, whether domestic violence research, public advocacy or recovery from trauma. 

If white men can't even see Britney as human before entertainer, then what're the chances for female survivors of colour who're poor, unsuccessful, fat, unattractive, ordinary everyday people?

People who will never get any army behind them, people who must fight alone, without assistance, without access, the invisible survivors left behind as collateral damage of a system that hates those at the bottom the most. 

How Britney's Dad Triangulated Her To Financially Abuse

It's a hard conversation I also had with myself, why do I bother? I'm not looking to recover from trauma, I already did it. I'm do not have to research domestic violence, I can do anything else less controversial and have a higher chance of succeeding. I do not need to write about important controversial social issues, it's not cathartic like people tell me, it's hard, I have to be careful not to relive my trauma too frequently, to avoid spiralling into a familiar pit of despair.

I want to always be bright, shiny, pink and happy too! 

I love pink, incidentally, LOL. I get that part of pop!

I'm also tired, I feel burnt out after 4 years of volunteerism. I think I need to take a break soon, just to recuperate from the new stressors of COVID 19, get some rest. At least I don't have to report back to my overlord like Britney, she has to ask for permission to use HER money for a self care vacation, it's ridiculous how a grown 38 year old woman needs to ask her daddy for approval. 

The shame! 

As I admire the persistence of B Army, I also wish they also consider the invisible survivors in their quest, because no one came to save me then, no one is saving 1 out of 4 women right now. I keep going because I'm worried about them, I also am burning out real fast due to lack of support. 

Sometimes I cry about it, how I know it's so bad, I try to harden myself and just ignore it, try to pull myself away, then something like #freebritney catches my eye, I feel inspired and I'm back at it again. 

Oops I Did It Again now carries more meaning than a teeny booper idea of girlhood, it's a rebellion, a resistance and a cry for help at the same time, a sound familiar to any female who found our teenage years hard. 

Even if we're pretty, popular, first world and talented, it can still be a rally cry we recognise well into our adult years, the fight to stay sovereign is a lifelong one! 

Feel free to join me for 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence, an annual international UN Women campaign that kicks off on 25 November, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, and runs until 10 December, Human Rights Day.

The theme this year is domestic violence, a timely one due to the global pandemic driven spike in gender based violence against women. 

More info - Guide To UN Women's Domestic Violence Social Media Activism 25 Nov - 10 Dec

I write loads about abuse on Quora so take a look! 

Eshet chayil, God is a She. 

Min 

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