I was initially enthusiastic about being my authentic self, I was excited about finding my authentic voice and my authentic self. Like a small child with a shiny new toy, I just had to test drive it.
As I flowed rapidly into my highest self, it was a phase I moved through smoothly, like a river that met the ocean, I didn't think much about it.
Flow is beautiful being, flow is me.
We all know being our authentic selves daily is hard enough, not to talk about being our highest selves. So then why do some people think it's so easy? Are they accurate?
These are some insights I have.
1. Authenticity isn't at the expense of privacy
We have all encountered people who use our vulnerabilities as ammunition. When I released myself from the bondage of the world, I was wild and free, blissfully delirious about sharing, neglected to protect my privacy and it came back to bite me in my gorgeous ass. Thanks be to my cute ass. LOL.
2. Stigma of authenticity
People appreciated my honesty, they also started being afraid of me, they saw me as a tentative tattle tale who would reveal their deepest darkest secrets. The irony is, as a lifelong trusted Empath. I have long been used to people telling me their life stories on first sitting, I have kept their treasured secrets in my inner trove for a lifetime, all of which will go to the grave with me. It's odd isn't it, people trust you because you're authentic, they also intimidated because you're.
Which made me think, what's so ugly about them that they are so fearful of, seems like I should be more fearful of their fakeness, isn't it? It isn't that they shared anything particularly shameful with me as well so it was puzzling at first. It's often that they fear no.1, people using it as ammunition to judge them and for sure it's a legitimate consideration as I came to see myself.
We all have our personal insecurities of course and sometimes it's best to gauge our risk appetites, not get caught up in the busyness of fending off judgement. Which ended up draining me, distracting me from my life's purpose.
Hey, a misstep is always wisdom gained. The only failure is the failure to learn.
2. An unexamined life isn't worth living - Socrates
I encountered people so used to their conditioned selves, you know, the robots, zombies and sheep, that they think it's their authentic selves. When you wear a false mask for too long, you become it. This is the tragedy of our time, not many know who they are and even less know who they want to be. They mistake having a voice or the ability to stand up for themselves as their true selves. So they told me in a more authentic than thou, typically egocentric voice of the asleep, noses in the air, " oh yeah authenticity is good." Ever notice how they always make declarative statements, when you ask them further, they cannot explain how they even came to the conclusion. Which is really just insecurities speaking as far as I'm concerned.
Worse, they expected me to be impressed and I sure ain't. Instead I laughed, I laughed so loud inside, almost manically. Laughter has always been my defence in this profoundly sick crazy making world. I didn't laugh out loud because see point 1. I just wanted to escape them, cut the meeting short, I wanted to get out of there, already determined to not have them in my inner circle.
I of course offered them no information directly because enabler much? I never offer information to people who think they know better, I believe them when they show me their fragile egos, the constant need to be superior. They are all set, they can help themselves. I never spend a moment worrying about such people either, they're good exactly where they are.
I'm also too good for them, incidentally. So it works out well for everyone.
3. Every safe person isn't an empowered one, every empowered person is a safe one
When one feels powerless, they always want to rob what isn't theirs, they want to take away our hard won healing, insights, enlightenment and our best of the best. Sneak an attack during your most vulnerable moments to feel momentarily comforted.
Power taken from someone else isn't secure lasting power within. Empowered people know our power, we don't need to rob, steal or take. We are at ease inside ourselves, confident in our skin, we are at peace, ready to be joyous. So point 2 is associated with someone feeling powerless, they think they can only live life a certain way or be rejected completely, they only see those black and white options.
Of course trust is built over time since we do encounter false safe people who present their well-curated "should" and "must" selves to the world. Lacking personality and uniqueness, living small and diminished, holding their resentment in silently, coming to us with sudden cutting envy, wanting to put us back in our place, the perceived inferior ones in their heads.
See point 1.
4. An inner critic is an inner voice in distress
Pre 2017, I was also living small and diminished so I do know how it feels like, having that huge inner critic that always punished me, even if others always saw me positively. I couldn't see myself from their lens, clouded by the fog of PTSD, depression and anxiety, I constantly saw myself as less than, never good or even enough. Beating myself down, tearing myself down up with an inner dialogue that I would never ever say to someone else.
Thankfully I met more open-minded and open-hearted people in recent years, who love me genuinely and unconditionally, accepted my shadow and my light, my pain and my joy, all in one. I think being around such people is vital to living as our authentic selves, since mercilessly drawing boundaries with toxic and abusive people, life is good, life is so good. The angst of having even one such person in my inner circle isn't worth it at all. Oh the distress, the toxic energy and low vibrations, the constant projections, shifting blame. Much distress, indeed.
Imagine, I even tried to help them, faced so much of their bullshit, only to learn they are irresponsible people, permanently trapped in their refusal to gain new information. It took me a long time to learn, the refusal to change is theirs, not my burden to carry. No matter how much I cared, I can't care beyond what their participation is.
When we have good boundaries, we realise that it wasn't us at all, it was them draining us instead. I know 80% to 90% of my angst wasn't my own challenges, it's being overly nice or too empathetic towards people not for me.
5. Authenticity is our integrated whole selves
If we want to live great then we have to keep on showing up. Show up for ourselves, the people who believe in us, the causes we believe in, keep on showing up. We rest deeper when in distress, then we regroup and show up again. I leaned on the giants who came before me, the feminist writers, the feminist spiritual leaders. Tapping into the fearlessness of all Goddesses of all religions. Those who're courageous enough to be real, even if getting real and being real hurts at time. Those who can hold onto their principles and values in the storm like me are the kind of people I want in my life.
Authenticity is our integrated whole selves where our duality, the shadow and light have shaken hands and made peace. Unlike what most people think, it's not the highest self, not the spiritually aligned self nor is it the astral self. I see an authentic self as the root of enlightenment, only when we live authentically then we can embark in the right direction.
We are how we live, we are what we say. We become our habits and patterns of behaviour.
I have witnessed people jump from the inauthentic self to highest self and end up coming back to the roots again, wasting many years walking in the opposite direction. Someone can indeed be their authentic selves yet misaligned as well. We all know authentic assholes, they sure as hell ain't aligned. LOL.
It is when you live whole then you find the authentic self then you find your highest self. Make a list of your false beliefs, challenge them courageously, to deprogram into the real you, only then can you find the real real you, the highest deepest truest you, the astral you. There, in that highest you is lasting peace and joy waiting. A peace and joy unattached to the pull of all things worldly.
People can't accept my authentic self
People can accept my authentic self
People won't like me if they know me
People will like your authentic self
I can't be authentic and honest at the same time
I can be authentic and honest at the same time
The last one is a common misunderstanding, I think that's also why people fear authentic people who speak their truth, we are seen as deviant and therefore dangerous. That somehow these two things are mutually exclusive. When authenticity requires self-honesty first and foremost, increases honesty towards others as well. Someone who lack self-honesty is often unknowingly dishonest to the world, whether through a conditioned false mask or through their own denial.
The universe respects truth only, truth within, truth in the other, living the truth daily.
Love Light & Peace
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