I have met plenty of people who're in debt up to the hilt, it's thanks to them that I always budgeted well and made sure I lived within my means. They scare me so much, I always somewhat got my financial act together, I'm taking it up another level this year and being serious about securing my retirement.
One thing to understand is that a lot of people don't own anything up front. A mortgage to a house means they own whatever part they paid off, could be a door, a room or a toilet bowl. A lease to a car means they own a tyre, a TV paid in instalments is a remote control, a wallet stuffed full of credit cards is living on borrowed money that incur interest, a wardrobe of branded clothes can be their parent's money and not theirs.
The reality is a lot of people look rich but are actually poor, they consider themselves middle or upper class by where they stay, what they drive and how they look instead of by how much they paid off already.
Taking charge of our finances can be frightening, even opening a bill can be anxiety inducing, it feels so overwhelming, it's easier to shove it under the mental carpet and pretend it doesn't exist.
Bill, what bill? Debt, who dat? LOL
My first clue about how people spend was when bag rentals were popular, it meant customers can pay a fraction of the price of a branded bag, carry it for a week and then return it. I had a few female friends who hopped on this trend, I didn't even know this service existed until I praised them and they told me proudly about it!
They asked me to try it out since I was so enthusiastic, I told them if I can't buy it upfront, I don't think about having it.
They snorted, smirked and then looked ashamed. I was super serious, too serious.
I confess, I was a joy robber in the past, I'm now a reformed joy feeler and joy sharer. When my mental health was whack, it's hard to even smile, laugh or have much fun at all, healing my trauma turned my life around completely.
I think emotional satisfaction is also part of spending well, it doesn't need to be a boring tiresome duty to check off, having some fun money can help you stay on track, I highly recommend a fun fund purely for joy!
I saw an Asian lady on Instagram, pretty of course, large following of course, who said she spent 4 hours deciding what stickers to buy, the stickers were $5. She looked frustrated with herself, I was thinking, chill, it's $5, neurotic much?
Counting pennies and cents is a sign of subconscious money fears, people like her are perfectionists who're so anxious about making the wrong decision, she makes the worst decision. She wasted 4 hours of her life on something the receiving party won't pay much attention to.
"Sssoooo cute, thank you so much", that's 2 mins of the other party's time. That's 2 mins of her feeling she made the right choice.
2 mins of emotional satisfaction on both ends, 4 mins total, she burned 4 hours being anxious about it.
I would never trust her with anything, especially not my money. She won't know what to do with it! She will take forever to decide on the tiniest line item and I would be so frustrated with her!
Then I would have to spend money to self care, because she didn't.
There's nothing fundamentally wrong with some instant gratification, if you can afford it, splash away! The whole point of managing money is knowing when to be generous so you can be diligent on other days. There's other rewards when it comes to spending, such as building a strong relationship by celebrating festive seasons together, buying your client dinner to clinch a deal.
What's wrong is wasting labour on inconsequential stuff. Labour is money, money is labour.
Life balance isn't doing everything at once, that's how mediocre results happen. It's also not doing some things really well and other things really badly, that cancels each other out. The high stress levels from one area eats away at the other. For example work stress can become romantic relationship stress.
It's planning when to do what so it's productive and emotionally satisfactory at the same time, so there's no anxiety.
Perfectionism is a sign of anxiety, this is not something most people know, they mistake it for thriving for excellence or having a strong work ethic. It's actually fear of failure so thick, it sucks all the joy out of your life and fogs up your mind.
It makes indecision your daily companion and makes money a pain in the neck.
Oof, that stiff neck can't see money. LOL.
It's so much better to do research before investing in anything, be it a person, a business, a stock or a house. These are however big ticket items that require larger investments and your time spent is justifiable, relationships are definitely worthy investments as well, a strong deep bond has a lot of rewards that come with it.
Being genuinely unconditionally loved is the best feeling in the world, it can motivate you to want to always rise higher, you feel strong even invincible, I know this because this is my life, it's the magic of love.
For the small stuff, do it, leave it, don't sweat it!
Keep calm and money on!
Every savvy shopper like me knows, we can get good bargains if we research more, the savings of a few dollars won't be able to make up for our lives lost though.
This is where you have to love yourself enough to not want to torture yourself.
Instead of pinching pennies, focus on organising what you have and think of how to make more money instead.
Comparative suffering of any kind is a pointless exercise, the day you were born, someone is poorer than you as someone is richer than you, the day you die, someone is still richer or poorer than you.
We cannot live by a stifling limited scarcity ranking system, an abundance prosperity mindset is our wealth doesn't take away from the wealth of others, when we're poor, we can be as principled as when we're rich. Money hasn't corrupted me and it will never, in fact I spend accordingly to my principles and this includes causes I support directly through my labour or I donate to.
Fundamentally, our worthiness isn't pegged to money, we exist as worthy and money likes high esteem, high vibrations and alignment with strong principles.
Open your heart, allow yourself to be uplifted by successful people.
Learn their mindset, let yourself be influenced by their joy, celebrate their achievements like they're your own, this will put you on the right path to success.
Just like a tortoise is slow and steady, symbolic of longevity, it is excellent for learning how to pace yourself, slow and steady wins the race is a real thing.
If you lack consistency in your life, tend to over commit or fear taking risks to get out of your comfort zone, this is the rose quartz for you.
Get Longevity Rose Quartz Tortoise here.
Eshet chayil, God is a She
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