I didn't want to have to listen to them and I felt like shit for thinking that way, I had to deal with the guilt of letting them down, when it wasn't my problem to begin with, I didn't victimise them, I didn't gain anything from them, I thought I was showing up for them, how did that script get flipped?
When I see how many are temporarily engaged when it trends then disengage after, out of the hundreds of locals and friends of all nationalities who metoo-ed with me when it started in 2017, I was the only one who continued to talk about it years later.
The behaviour of these pseudo women reading other male drag queens, laughing about their body size, facial beauty, make up skills and artistic talents wasn't directed at them as men but at the superficial facade of a woman they each wore as a joke in and of itself.
It is using the visibility of women as a tool, just like how we're expected to be used as sex providers, valued as pretty property ready to change hands from male slaveowner to male slaveowner. Drag legitimised this idea that women and the associated femininity are exactly what women are only good for, empty ornamental shells that must be painted and put on display instead of organically laying on beach sand without interference.
It is not your fault for feeling lost, uncertain or lousy about your body, we live in a highly toxic world where we're hated for no reason, we're broken down to be compliant, randomly victimised out of the blue, evil is around the corner, people are manipulative and horrifyingly unsafe, some don't have basic decency and respect for others, we live in an asylum and the only way to survive is to completely stop buying in.
It is not your fault if you have self loathing or self hatred, it is not your fault, you're conditioned daily to stay down, feel lousy and accept that this is a woman's fate, I say hell to the no, we deserve better!
We do need to work together, to not condone or enable these things to happen, to not shame women when it does, tell her we understand when she's pushed to a corner. That her being victimised isn't her fault, she doesn't have to dress this way or that to stay safe, it's total bullocks, men are capable of controlling themselves, they're not animals, they can do it, they rather not if even the leeway, that is entitlement, it's not they can't, they don't want to do it.
Tell her that it isn't her duty to pander to the male gaze, it isn't her responsibility for someone else's inability to respect others, it isn't her duty to police herself or another woman either, support her choices first then discourse later, she needs your comfort more than your judgement.