A recent conversation with a friend left me feeling unsettled. She spoke about how she was judged and subsequently rejected by a guy for coming from a divorced family. He didn't give them a chance to get to know each other better. Said guy comes from a privileged family and is rather sheltered. She's disappointed because she sensed that they had a unique connection. When he heard the word divorce, automatically, he said, "too much baggage."
I told her this.
Good riddance, I would ask you to reconsider even if he did choose you.
To judge her for the choices her parents make, reeks of immaturity. Families fall apart for many reasons, as a child she had no say in it. It was unfortunate that she witnessed their quarrels and had to deal with conflicted emotions as a child. She has since addressed them and have worked through it. Only unaddressed issues continue to affect someone, why is that so hard to understand? She always knew those were negative examples and didn't buy into them for a moment. There are indeed children like her who take the opposite path precisely because she knew how hurtful those moments can be.
The thing is, she has been tried and tested. Just like glass that goes through fire in the hands of the maker, it becomes a work of art. This fire primed to destroy also made her wise beyond her years, this spirit of resilience and strength has seen her through many other fires in other areas of her life. As a result she became the parent she never had. A caring, understanding person with grit.
As for him, I am unsure if he can hold it together when things fall apart. We don't know what the future holds and finding a partner to brave the storm together is an essential. It's easy to enjoy the good times, who doesn't know how?
It's those times when the going gets tough and you will still need to show up that you will know what someone is made of. Those are the times that will seal the bond between 2 people. Those are the times when you can grab her hand, wave them in the air and say we made it! We made it together! Now, we celebrate!
So Sisters, the next time someone judge you for your family, remember this, it is a reflection of someone's inability to show empathy for choices beyond your control. Why would you want someone like that?
You tell that Hairy Porter to carry his own baggage and get out of here ASAP.