Thankfully she gets me like nobody's business, most times she's so spot on, it surprises me. She brings play and joy into my life, as an intense person, it balances me out well. She sparks laughter in my heart, fills it with her special brand of soul music that makes my spirit dance in 5D. I also have great respect for her loyalty, one of my three must-haves.
Other times, she's caught up in her healing and miss the mark. One area we spoke about was attachment and love. Deepak Chopra wrote about the difference in his book, The Path to Love: Spiritual Strategies for Healing and Tenzin Palmo Jetsunma mentions it in the above video as well.
The true essence of love is often lost in the broken world, it has become a quid pro quo of worldly elevation by association, a partner's success rubbing off as your own or filled with fear driven ego battles and power struggles. A focus on lust, physical appearance, wealth and popularity. Playing mind games to gain advantage, playing hard to get to entice and provoke, lacking substance and meaningful interactions. IT bags instead of IT characters, IT superficiality instead of IT goodness.
As a reformed nice girl who use to come from a place of empty, while I never did buy into the shallow stuff, I did bend over backwards to earn love, mostly as a free therapist, more eager to heal them than they're willing to work on themselves. Becoming the emotional leader, the garbage bin for all the toxicity, the pillar of support that forgets to support herself. Automatically putting them in first place and taking second place, neglecting my own healing and wellbeing. I was good at that part, putting their happiness above me. I got that part right, a part that's challenging for most people. Where I went off track is not choosing like-minded people who see my worth.
I think most relationships don't transcend attachment to genuine love, the unconditional love from above that manifest in 3D. I seldom even spot this in old couples who have been together for a lifetime. Most form a union out of necessity, driven by fear of loneliness, social expectations, co-dependence, etc. Better fearful together than alone.
While there's nothing wrong with this, does it offer much meaning is a whole other thing.
Genuine love offers freedom always, it doesn't grasp tightly, it holds comfortably in your palm, precious, whole and true. Attachment does indeed cause suffering, it becomes a stranglehold of you must do this or you must do that. You can't do this and you can't do that. Killing our spirits along with it. I see many people making their lives solely about the relationship and when it doesn't work out, the whole world comes crashing down, even becoming permanently jaded.
So where does getting needs met become attachment? I think requesting to have needs met is part of communication. The attachment comes from buying into unrealistic fairytales of romance, expecting perfection without wanting to invest time and energy. Also, getting so entrenched in the togetherness, forgetting our individual otherness. That there is life outside of us, there is a you and I. Keeping our individual identities are as important as committing to each other.
It helps to take in the larger picture of life, that all suffering is transient, instead of indulging in the suffering of woe is me, you hurt me, being trapped in this cycle. Or diving into the shame of I'm an asshole, I wronged you, getting sucked into that alternative cycle. To remember the goodness in that person during hard times, to not confuse a misstep with all that person is, a punishing all or nothing mentality. Provided that person takes ownership that is, if not, you're being an enabler and accumulating karmic debt for him/her.
To hold someone to the expectations of love from above is also a road to disappointment, even that love offers free will, you can choose to leave or stay. The love from above reminds us of our true being, what we can aspire to, it can fill us up with abundance so we can love more in 3D. Sure, there're people who reminds us of that love, it makes me happy to say my Twin Flame is such and I'm truly blessed. This doesn't mean she's like that all the time or I expect her to be, it means I'm well-aware of her fears and vulnerabilities, her goodness outshines them. We are willing to work through our challenges as we meet them.
On the flip side is someone trying to own someone totally, life isn't a game of monopoly, people ain't pawns, hold on too tightly and there's never room to breathe. Go to jail, no get out of jail free card. Pass go and don't collect 200.
I'm all for commitment and faithfulness, I also think it's possible that despite two people trying their best, a relationship can indeed expire, holding on at that point is out of fear and fear only.
There are no guarantees in life, the certainty is that in that moment, it's worth it. Letting go so both can find greener pastures can be a frightening process, it's also the kindest thing to do. You will always know when someone is staying out of obligation, there's a forceful reluctance that breaks instead of build.
Love, light and peace.
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