My sister gave me a paint by numbers set a while back and I thought, hmmmm how fun!
Image found here
I thought I will do a dress by colour series to help people gather insights about their bodies using colour psychology. I dressed in shades of green and gold the last time and thought I will take it up a notch with matchy-mismatchy base colours of tan and blue.
You can do it either way.
So, first you plan what you want to wear, the first colour that pops into your mind. This is very much in line with intuitive eating, strengthens your intuition in a different way.
Then you pick a common complimentary jewelry colour like sliver, gold, rose gold, etc.
Add more of the first colour by reviewing your wardrobe, keeping the jewelry simple.
Dressing can be filled with bad memories for dieters, because our weight yo yos and this can mean some embarrassing incidences like the below.
People pointing out a too tight outfit
Feeling our movement restricted by our clothing
Being body policed and food policed at the same time
Suddenly finding we're unable to fit our favourite clothes
Shirts popping open
Emergency rips when we go about the day
We can scramble for a panic outfit and the dressing experience is utter destroyed.
I know I ripped my pants and shirts a few times and I was close to tears, feeling wasteful and also incompetent.
I know for a busty girl, I aways sew on press studs on my collared shirts but when I get a little larger, it might open up more than before and that meant creepy men trying to look into my shirt.
So it's these related victimisation that creates poor body image and the want to diet.
Uggghhhhh very uncomfortable, extremely invasive. *Puke*
If someone who loves me gave me the ripped pants, I would guilt trip myself over how I didn't treasure that gift enough.
No worries, as we find our set weight, practicing self kindness and joking about ourselves can help us get over these bumps.
If people accused us of any of those things, which can be unrelated to our bodies but being financially inept or being a spendthrift, we might have resolved pain we need to work through.
Even if it isn't true, it's their error in judgment, even if we cognitively know it, the punishing harshness can still leave scars.
We have to also understand that it is not our fault and it's abusive to guilt trip someone who is already feeling apologetic. Some people like to double down on punishing us when we're already feeling lousy, time to re-evaluate their presence in your life and draw some boundaries.
You could be stuck in the Karpman Drama Triangle, which is highly damaging.
Don't be afraid of giving toxic people the boot, you cannot heal around people who keep harming you!
I mean, you already got it, you're already doing your best, people don't have to embarrass us more.
Forgive yourself and maybe them.
You're not obligated to forgive them, these careless people with low awareness often don't know much harmful they're and won't even admit it even when called out.
We can live perfectly fine without forgiving others, it's more important we forgive ourselves and center us.
We can always buy new pants or be gifted new clothing, we can buy what we really like and get rid of stuff with bad mojo, it's not a big deal!
Learning about controlling behaviours that make us anxious can make a big difference, loads of people are controlling, loads of people are abusive and that has nothing to do with how lovable we're or how worthy we're.
It has very much to do with how profoundly sick modern society is, people are hot messes and so it's totally OK for us to embrace the times we're a little messy as well.
Embarrassing moments pass, everyone has had snafus and we can all love our silly selves just the same.
Especially if you're like me, you deserve forgiveness.
I would never ever behave the way so many people do, we don't have to be perfect, we don't have to always aspire and chase, we can relax and learn to live in the present.
You can also try matchy-mismatchy dressing, which is matching two unexpected prints that go surprisingly well together while keeping to the colour scheme. It's a nonchalant rebel look, the devil may care laissez faire in us.
Choose two colours that pop into your mind and find all the prints in that colour family. Honour your own comfort zone when it comes to clash matching, your comfort is more important than the look, always remember this. You're to vibrate out from the center of your being and not outside in, including your clothes.
If you don't feel up to it, feel it's too risky, it's OK to pair them up in your wardrobe until the mood strikes you.
I know I paired up my top and bottom for a while and left it, until it called me urgently to wear them and that gave me maximum pleasure.
I'm not pushing too far for this look, it did make me excited to see how other outfits can come together better, to derive pleasure in the process is the goal for styling so that means the willingness to indulge like we never dared before.
Like nourishment for our bodies, clothing is also a basic need, so why not make it fun and interesting?
It's a chicken and egg thing, to test waters with ourselves means sometimes buckling down to go ahead and wear it anyway, see what emotions it invokes in us.
Remember not to try hanging onto toxic positivity, repress and ignore the discomfort but prioritise authenticity and increase our tolerance limits to sit with it.
Close up of the shirt's print
It's always OK to feel lousy, lousy gives us as much information as feeling good, lousy means we eliminate what doesn't work for us. It's progress and progress is all we can ask for.
At the end of the day I studied what these colours meant to me and why I wanted to wear them, the green and gold outfit was me fearing people's jealousy, I often not post about the good stuff in my life because it incites their wrath and it's frightening for me.
It's because I had a jealous abusive adult around me growing up so I always kept small to stay safe, being the center of attention and not wanting to flee or hide is my lifelong struggle.
After that, I decided to not let that stop me, they can die in a pool of jealousy for all I care. LOL!
The blue and tan outfit was the change in thinking, I went boldly ahead to explore my creativity, let the haters hate! I was more interested in expressing my creativity, the intention is not boast about my clothes, bags or looks.
When I keep small, people still hate, when I show them the good bits, they still hate. We cannot stop them from hating, they're creating excuses for themselves to stay trapped inside their resentment and that is not our business.
So, might as well showcase the best of me and keep real about the struggles as well! It will piss of the people who hate us and it will help us find out where we want to go.
It's more important that I give myself this chance to do it rather than let them stop me from living my best life.
Even if people always assume the worst, the most shallow and the most superficial, it's on them and not us.
We do what rocks our world and they stay in their turbulent inner world, stagnant and salty. LOL.
Remember that you're trying and some aren't at all, trying means something.
People appreciate people who try.
I appreciate people who try.
Believe that people see your effort and that means something too.
Green bag that only fashionistas will understand
What seems shallow can have deep purpose and meaning behind it too, it doesn't mean because people don't get it that we have to give up on how we get it. Not everyone can see value in what we do, that means they're ignorant and not we're failing.
Next, consult a colour psychology chart for positive and negative bits, you can cheat during the day if you feel stuck and no insights come to you as well. It's similar to normalising stress eating, sometimes we need to cope and coping is A-OK!
Ponder on the words and see if it helps.
Here are two links to ones I liked.
For me, blue is quiet and peaceful, tan is flexible and crisp. It's me cracking a whip and also being thoughtful at the same time, very me and oh so happy about it.
It's also a bit withdrawn. It's also a bit conservative.
So this lets me know if I want to work on those things or I accept those parts of me and I'm cool with it.
You can make your own list, use those two charts as a guide, go wild and crazy, let loose and travel hard into that inner world filled with juicy nuggets of insights, filled with radical honesty.
OK now I think about chicken Mcnuggets.
Eshet chayil, God is a She.
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